Life’s Uncertainty: This Is Not The Yellow Brick Road.

Do not forsade wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you.

Life’s Uncertain Journey

What was going on in my body?  I suddenly felt vulnerable and uncertain. Like Dorothy, in the Wizard of Oz, I was spinning in a tornado, and when I awoke, there was pain near my stomach and back. I made an appointment at a local clinic, and after the check-up, I was given a prescription. Then I decided to read  the side-effects on the label, and they did not look good.  I was concerned, but I wasn’t sure what to do. Therefore, I thought it would be okay to try it for a short period of time, so I took the medicine. It wasn’t long before my digestive track was a mess, and I began to lose weight.


After the new symptoms appeared, I made another appointment with a different doctor, but the news was worse. The doctor thought it might be a lymphoma, a blood cancer, and it turned out he was right. This felt like a bad dream, and I was now more uncertain about what path to take.


Next, I decided to get another opinion from the Mayo Clinic to find out about new procedures involving immunotherapy. However, they told me that wasn’t an option for me. The doctors told me to start chemotherapy immediately or I might not live six months.  Discouragement and uncertainty was turning into fear.

In the end I gave in and started chemotherapy treatments.  As I received the treatments, my hair fell out, I lost more weight, and I became weaker and sicker. Would this nightmare never end? Here I was in a room filled with zombie-like people hooked up to bags of liquids and covered in blankets. I hated the bag with the unnatural red color. It was a bad omen. In spite of hoping the cancer would leave, now more than ever I doubted my choice.


As I thought about life, I remembered a story in the Bible about a man who had been robbed, beat up, and left by the side of the road. Even though two others walked by, they crossed over to the other side of the road and did not stop.  Finally a good Samaritan came by and offered hope. He picked up the injured man and carried him to an inn. The Samaritan told the innkeeper to look after the man, and he would reimburse him for any extra expense.(Luke 10:30-37)

Although I felt alone, more than one Samaritan saw me by the side of the road, and stopped. One of my daughter-in-laws gave me a little book by Dodie Olsteen, the mother of Joel Olsteen.  If Dodie had survived with a diagnosis of liver cancer, there was hope. Armed with Dodie’s positive scripture examples, I focused on healing.  In addition, another Samaritan, my daughter, showed me a book by Suzanne Sommers, and a program by Chris Wark ( Survivors were sharing testimonies of hope, and I was on a new journey.

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